When you hear the phrase “wasted life” it conjures up images of your mother and father standing over you and yelling about how art school will never produce a paying job, or how your boyfriend/girlfriend is a dead-end road. “You’re wasting your life,” they say. In short, we associate the phrase with rebellion, negativity, and bad decisions. Imagine my surprise recently when the Lord told me that He wanted me to waste my life on Him.
For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. (Matthew 16:25)
We’ve all heard the stories of the wasted life. We’ve heard about John the Baptist who lived in the wilderness eating locusts and wild honey proclaiming one message his entire life. We’ve heard about Anna who was widowed in her youth and spent her entire adult life in the temple praying and fasting. We’ve heard about Mary wasting a life’s savings worth of costly perfume on the feet of Jesus. What motivated these people to behave in this way? What could have possibly been the cause of such a tragic waste of life, potential, and financial provision? Paul gives us a clue:
More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, (Philippians 3:8)
I used to think that I wanted some things out of this life. If you can believe it, when I was in the world, I actually had a poster with my “goals” on the wall, all of which were material possessions and status symbols. I wanted the big house. I wanted the fancy car. I wanted the yacht. I wanted it all. Then I got saved and my goals changed. I wanted a big ministry, a large church, a fancy (but not obscene) car, and an international reputation as a good speaker.
By contrast, I’m now trying to figure out how to live on as little money as possible so that I can quit working and devote all of my time to the prayer room. I’m praying and believing for the day that I will be able to spend 8 or 10 hours a day in the prayer room seeking the face of Jesus. What a waste! All of that potential! I was a smart kid. I could have been a lawyer or a doctor or a congressman, and now I want to spend the rest of my life in an obscure prayer room? What happened?
I was on my way to attaining those goals. I was planning my ascent through the ranks of the church and working my way towards credibility in the ministry when I made a mistake. I thought that if I prayed and fasted I would be able to get a greater anointing for speaking and impress more people. Instead, when I prayed and fasted, I met God face to face. I entered into a season of prayer and fasting as a means to an end. I discovered in the process that intimacy with God is the end.
I discovered what it meant to be thrilled, enthralled, emblazoned, and left undone. I saw things happening in the third heaven, and discovered my prophetic calling. I felt, really felt, the love of the Lord and the perfect peace that came in His presence. I’m ruined. I’m undone. I have no other purpose for the rest of my life but to live in the glory realm in heavenly places in Christ Jesus.
But, won’t you miss the opportunity to have an international ministry and preach to thousands of people?
Eh…not really.
